Baked, Alaska

Exactly two weeks after the election, it has finally been confirmed that Senator Ted Stevens of Alaska has not won his latest bid for re-election. Thank (*&()&) God. Alaska, I suppose there is a glimmer of hope for you, but I don't know. First, you gave us Sarah Palin and now it takes 14 days to figure out whether or not you elected a convicted felon? You better kiss Northern Exposure's ass, because at this point these people are the only respectable ones you have and they're not even real. The fact that the election was so close that you need 14 days to figure it out is insane. What concerns me most politically is how atrocious is his opponent, Senator-Elect Mark Begich, must be. A dude who is on his way to trading commissary points for cigarettes, a man who went from making laws to making shanks almost beat you. How bad do you suck? Whenever your mom brags about you being a Senator, her friends will give her crap. You will have a asterisk next to your name in Wikipedia, you are the Roger Maris of Senators. Alaska, may God be with you.