The Day I Realized Coldplay Sucks

I remember the first time I was made aware of Coldplay- it was Christmas Eve 2000 and the brand-spanking new MTV2 (when the channel still played music, long after MTV stopped) was playing Yellow on a loop. I wouldn't liken it to the first time my father heard the Beatles but it was one of those moments where I knew I was going to love these guys and I knew they were going to be a gigantic force in music. Their debut album, Parachutes and especially their sophomore effort, A Rush Of Blood To The Head became my own sort of, to borrow from another writer, lifestyle music. Sex, writing, thinking, much of it was done to Coldplay and I don't know many bands that can pull that same kind of work. When X&Y came out three years ago it didn't have the same effect on me but one song off the album (Talk) blew me away so much so that I included it on every play list I had. I even caught their show and it was the highlight of the summer (the combination music and especially light show made for the ultimate in pot brownie experiences). Three years later, the band released their big comeback, Viva La Vida Or Death And All His Friends. Maybe I am not the same person I was three years ago or maybe it's Gwyneth Paltrow but I barely gave a shit that they were making new music. A co-worker gave me a leaked version of the album and it was alright. The press was making a big thing of how brilliant the album was, how much Coldplay had grown, front man Chris Martin's improved lyrics as well as the new register his voice had found. Honestly, I didn't get any of it. If there was one saving grace for the album it was their lead single, Viva La Vida. The strings were different and that melody with those chord changes were just so mesmerizing. The more I heard the song (especially when it was featured on the series premiere of the new 90210, which will jazz up any tune) the more it became yet another Coldplay song to be a soundtrack to my life.

As we came to find the other day, it was actually a Joe Satriani song that was a soundtrack to my life. Or allegedly, but come on, they did it. Have you heard the Satriani track? It's ridiculous. I've heard that Coldplay has done this before (and really, it's no secret that they've always wanted to be Radiohead) but crap this is just lazy. It's like they didn't even try to cover it up (but of course they deny it). The thing that really bothers me about it the most is that, though Satriani I am sure is doing well for himself, his success (and bank account) doesn't even come close to that of Chris Martin and company. It makes sense, they're pop artists and he's an electric guitar virtuoso who does instrumentals. But it's just another reminder that the TRUE good stuff is hard to find in this country of ours. Why? Because we as a people truly have shitty taste. If you want to find a truly unique song on the regular radio you have to turn your dial all the way to the left (where the reception is usually terrible anyway). If you want to watch something of substance on the TV you're pretty much limited to PBS and a few other exceptions. Movies? Unless you live in a major city, you're usually screwed. We got too greedy. At some point it became all about the money. I am a realist with touches of hippie-dom but I know we all gots to get paid. Still, there needs to be a balance. Until then, this world is going to be overrun with assholes who have sex with Gwyneth Paltrow and really, who wants that?

Shout out to Joe Satriani:
http://www.satriani.com/2004/